The Decision.

Quite simply it began with a decision....

"I made decisions that I regret and I took them as learning experiences...I'm human, not perfect, like anybody else"  Queen Latifah

 

Two weeks ago I made a decision. It was a simple personal decision that affected me and me alone. However, my personal decision couldn't be a private one.
 

I didn't know then that I would sometimes have to go to great lengths, literally, to explain, defend and justify my decision. I also didn't know then that my decision would become an experiment of sorts that I would start blogging about. You see, this decision had changed two things: how other people see me and, more importantly, how I see myself.

 

The decision? To weave my hair.

 

The decision didn't just affect my physical appearance, it affected my behavior too. After just 4 hours in the hairstylists chair, I did something completely out of character. I went home and did this.

 

Selfie. A first for me.

I posted the pictures on Instagram and Facebook. And people liked them. A lot.

But prior to my decision I wasn't feeling cute or confident. Quite the contrary. And this feeling had been going on for some time. When I finally analyzed it my decision came down to three facts and three numbers.

 

The Three Facts:

1. I am a Black Woman.

2. I have "Nappy" hair.

3. I've never really liked my  hair.

"Afro-textured hair (nappy) is a term used to refer to Black African hair that has not been altered
by hot combs, hot irons or chemicals (perming, relaxing and straightening)" Wikipedia.

The Three Numbers:

1. #12

2. #15

3. #47

The facts are self explanatory. The numbers refer to days and years.

 

12, comes from  the number of "good hair" days that I had every year with my previous hairstyle. I had been relaxing (chemically straightening) my hair for around 18 years. The good hair days were pretty great actually and just happened to coincide with my monthly visit to see my hairstylist. My hair would look wonderful on that one day a month after it was relaxed and cut. However, that would be it. Just one day. At night once I went to bed, no matter how I followed my stylist's hair care regime, my "do" was done! 

 

15, comes from the number of years that I've been out of full time work. Since my first son was born, I have done casual work, occasional work, seasonal work, temporary work, part time and volunteer work. I've set my own hours and danced to the beat of my own drum. However, even on low stress days, there was always a  daily dose of hair drama. And sometimes on a really bad hair day -  I just stayed home.

Now, with a new full time job about to start I have to go to work. Every. Single. Day. Even on bad hair days. I will have to figure out a new routine that will work for me and my family. I will need to make adjustments so that my mornings and my life become smooth and manageable. Smooth and manageable. Just like my hair...is NOT.

 

And the number 47? well, that is my age, and for as long as I can remember, I've never really liked my hair.

 

So I had to make a change, and with the change came the decision.

 

I cannot change the facts. Nor would I want to. Except for number 3, that is.

The numbers?...well that's a different story. That I could change. I'm not that good at math, but even with my poor mathematical skills I could still see that 12 out of 365 days is a little bit unbalanced. So I decided  to find a way to have more good hair days in a year and be happier with the course strands that grow from the hair follicles on the top of my head.

So here it is -  my hair journey and journal. I'm taking the next year to discover how to be happier with my hair. I'm going to try not to use any chemicals and let my nappy hair grow while trying out other black hair styles such as braids, twists, wigs and weaves. It's a little bit like Gretchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project" ...but for hair. I'm calling it "The Happy Nappy Hair Project"

Hair we go...